39 Week Update

We went for my 39 week appointment on Wednesday, 2/16. Since we all had concerns about the baby being big, and since my body was doing nothing to prepare for delivery, the doctor decided to do an ultrasound to see how big the baby was. I was very happy and had planned to ask for one. I had been doubting my resolve to go to 40 weeks because the baby has just been feeling so big inside me. The sentimental side of me still wanted to go into labor on my own, but the practical side of me knew the experience would be terrible if the baby was too big. The ultrasound tech estimated the baby at 9 lbs 6 oz. I immediately wanted to get him out! That size scared me!  

After the ultrasound, we went to meet with the doctor again and discuss our options. Since my cervix was not ripe at all, the doctor said there was no way to do an induction the next morning. He gave the following options:

1. Wait through the weekend and see if the cervix condition would change by Monday.
2. Schedule a c-section (for as early as the next morning)
3.  Come in that night for the cervix softening tablet and try for an induction on Thursday morning. 

We immediately ruled out option 1 - we thought waiting would only allow the baby to get larger and could possibly make the c-section my only option. I really did not want a c-section. So we decided on option 3. If the cervix softening tablets didn’t work that night, the doctor said we could still opt for the c-section on Thursday morning or we could go home and come back Thursday night and try the cervix softening tablets again.

So we left the doctor’s office, grabbed some lunch and headed home. Since we didn’t even have our hospital bags fully packed and since I was working that day, the next few hours were a little crazy as we both scrambled to pack bags and handle other last minute items. Jason lined up care for our other three kids (thankfully his mom was available) and charged the video camera. I did some laundry and wrapped up a few work assignments and then let my boss know what was happening so he could divide the rest of my work between my coworkers.

We dropped the kids off at Jason’s mom’s house and headed to the hospital. 

To be continued…

37 Weeks

We went to the doctor yesterday. I don’t have much to share. The baby is good, I’m measuring a little big (38 weeks) and my body is appears to be doing nothing to get ready for labor. My doctor tried to be encouraging with a “When it gets ready to happen it can happen really quickly.” I wanted to respond with “You tell all the girls that, don’t you?” because I felt like he was feeding me a line - just trying to give me some hope that I might go into labor on my own.

Speaking of that, I’m certainly still hoping that’s what happens. I think I have just about decided that waiting til 40 weeks or even 40 weeks and a couple of days is preferable to inducing at 39 weeks. I just get scared thinking of how big this boy might end up being if we wait past 40 weeks. I just keep hearing that going into labor on your own can be easier on your body. I’m just a little concerned that my body doesn’t know how to go into labor on its own! Maybe next week I’ll make some progress…

Oh, and my biggest pregnancy or PD symptom this week? EXHAUSTION. Nothing much more to say about that, but I have been so tired this week. 

Ok, so on to fun stuff/good news! Three of my sisters-in-law and my mother-in- law gave me a baby shower this past weekend. It was a lot of fun! We now have the bedding and lamp for the baby’s nursery! I am so excited and can’t wait to get it all set up. We also got a baby bathtub and towel and baby bath/shampoo, etc, and lots of clothes! Since Jason already ordered and set up the bassinet for me, we have started telling baby boy that he can come whenever he’s ready because he now has clothes and diapers and a place to sleep!

My sweet, sweet husband also ordered the crib, mattress and changing table this week too! I know the baby won’t be sleeping in it for a while and we may not even set it up right away, but I’m in such a nesting mode that just knowing it is on its way excites me! He also ordered me a sling, a nursing cover, some reusable nursing pads, and one of those bracelets that helps you keep track of when you last nursed and on which side and for how long. Confession: I used to think things like that were silly. I mean, who can’t remember what side they last nursed on? At least that’s what I thought 7 years ago. Now, with PD and age turning against me, I saw the milk bands and thought they would really be useful. 

35 Weeks Pregnant!

Today I went to the doctor. I had my Group B strep test done. The doctor also checked me. I wasn’t prepared for that! I thought he’d wait til 36 weeks to start the exams. I’m not doing anything- my cervix is still hard and closed.

After he checked me we had a long talk about options for labor. I had an induction with my first when she was 5 days late. I also ended up with 4^th degree tearing after her 9 lb 3 oz self tore me apart. So with my second, we induced a couple of days early. He was 8 lbs 13 oz and I walked away with 3^rd degree tearing. I had hopes for this pregnancy. Because it was my third, I thought that I might go into labor on my own.  I also thought that there might be a chance that if I went into labor on my own (versus having an induction) that I might be able to deliver the baby without tearing. I read some birth stories online about women who gave birth to babies bigger than mine and they didn’t tear at all. All of those labors seemed to have one thing in common: the women went into labor on their own. That being said…I’m a little too scared to wait til anytime after the 40 week mark for me to go into labor on my own. I’m scared that if I waited until after 40 weeks, I might end up with a c-section. Nothing about labor terrifies me as much as a c-section. For me, labor is so much about the baby at the end of it that being separated from the baby right after he is born is very upsetting for me to even think about.  

Ok, so back to our talk. My doctor mentioned I might like to go into labor on my own. I would like that. But he warned me that should that happen, I might miss my chance at an epidural because I might have progressed too far to get one by the time I get to the hospital. I am okay with that. I had epidurals with the first two because I have been told Pitocin is extremely painful and an epidural is a must when you have an induction. But if I was in labor on my own, I think I would be okay without pain meds. However, my doctor’s concern about me not getting an epidural is that I could have the 3^rd or 4^th degree tearing again and he said the local anesthetic will not take away the pain of him stitching me back up the way the epidural would. He said we would have the option to go to surgery and get a spinal block, but the baby wouldn’t be coming with us. I didn’t like that option. He doesn’t think I’ll walk away from the labor with anything less than 2^nd degree tearing…and I kind of got the feeling he was being generous by allowing me to think I had a chance at that. It made me really sad. I guess I was living in a fantasy world, but I really thought I had a chance at delivering a baby and walking out of the hospital two days later without any stitches of any kind.

My doctor said the earliest he is willing to induce without cause is 39 weeks. So I can be induced a week early, get an epidural, have a baby who (hopefully) falls around 8 lbs 7 oz and walk away with only second degree tearing.

Or, I can wait and try to go into labor on my own. If that happens at or after 40 weeks, we’re pretty much looking at 3^rd-4^th degree tearing.  But I take a chance at missing my window for an epidural that way, which could be painful during the stitching.

Clearly, the best case scenario is to go into labor on my own before 40 weeks…but I don’t know how to do that. Anyone have any “How to go into labor” tips that actually work?

Feeling Sentimental

I’m starting to feel very sentimental about this pregnancy. I’ve been attached to the baby for a while, obviously. With my other pregnancies, I didn’t really enjoy the act of being pregnant. I was happy to be pregnant because it meant I was going to have a baby. I enjoyed aspects of being pregnant: feeling the baby move and seeing ultrasound pictures and getting to bond with the baby that way. I enjoyed being able to eat whatever I wanted. I know pregnancy is not really an excuse to eat whatever you want, but I don’t think it’s a time to diet or count calories either.  So I eat what I want, which is mostly healthy, but may include Little Debbie cakes from time to time. Anyway, I’m off track. So I have had what I consider easy labors. They were short and fairly pain free. I didn’t hate labor…in fact, giving birth was exciting for me (again, it’s the baby I looked forward to, and the baby was finally coming out – what’s not to be happy about?). I remember telling someone after my first baby was born that I didn’t particularly enjoy being pregnant and didn’t understand why some people loved it so much.  

But with this baby, I have enjoyed the baby and I have enjoyed being pregnant. Even though I’m achy. Even though I’m way more tired than I have been during other pregnancies.  Even though it has been hard. It’s definitely been harder than the other pregnancies. It might be that I just know it’s the last pregnancy and I’m being sentimental. I like having the baby with me all the time, safe inside me. He moves more than both my other babies did combined and so he’s always letting me know he’s right there, and I like that. I’m still anxious to meet him, but I’m not anxious to stop being pregnant. And I kind of like having him to myself J

I was so ready to get my first baby out and had an induction when she was 5 days late. She was 9lbs 3 oz, and I had a fourth degree episiotomy that came with lots of stitches. So with my second, both my doctor and I wanted to avoid that so we induced a couple of days early. I still had an episiotomy but it wasn’t as bad. This time, while I’m scared of the baby getting too big and would still probably induce if it looked like he was getting too big, I’d really like to go into labor by myself. Not sure if that will happen or not. Based on my previous pregnancies, the chances are probably slim. So I guess maybe I’m also a little sad that I might not get to ever experience what it feels like to go into labor.  Is it silly to want to experience labor?

30 Weeks Pregnant!

And I often feel like I’m full-term! For some reason I feel very large with this pregnancy, even though I’m about the same size as I was at 30 weeks during my last pregnancy. I think it’s because everything I do is requiring more energy and I feel like I’m always exerting myself. Compared with my previous pregnancies, I’m having a little more trouble getting up and out of chairs, walking for long distances, and going up and down stairs.

The baby is doing well. We learned at my last appointment that the blood clot in my placenta had completely disappeared, so we no longer have to worry about that. The baby is active and has fairly predictable patterns of activity. He is most active in the early mornings and late evenings. If I wake up in the middle of the night, he’s usually moving. Thankfully, I can sleep through most of it! He doesn’t seem to like it when I lay on my right side – he will kick against the bed until I turn over. When I’m on my left side, I’m usually against Jason, and so he’ll kick against Jason until I move away. Apparently, he doesn’t like things touching my stomach because he also kicks against things like Jason’s hand or my desk at work. It makes me happy that he is so active. There’s something very reassuring about feeling him move around.

I’m having issues with a few things right now. One, my legs…they ACHE almost every night. This is obviously a PD thing, not a pregnancy thing, but it’s really annoying. If I keep my legs moving, the pain is bearable, but constantly keeping my legs moving is annoying. Thankfully, the heating pad usually helps.

The second issue is also a PD issue: choking. Parkinson’s patients often have trouble swallowing, which can cause choking. I had several choking issues before getting pregnant (maybe 5-6 in total). But over the last few months, my choking has definitely increased. It’s a little frightening for me. Most of the time, I get choked, cough a couple of times and then I’m okay. Still, it’s a little unnerving when it happens, especially when I’m alone.

The third issue is a pregnancy issue…I think? I have been waking up during the night vomiting. Not waking up needing to vomit, but waking up because I’m already vomiting. It’s gross, and a little scary, especially in light of the choking issues I’ve been having! The vomiting doesn’t happen every night, but it’s happening several times a week. This happened a few times a couple of months ago and my doctor prescribed Protonix for acid reflux. I’ve been taking that for the last 3 months. So I don’t understand why it’s happening again now since I’m still taking the Protonix. It would seem like the Protnonix would help if this was caused by acid reflux. So it has me wondering if there is some other cause. Has anyone else had anything like this happen during pregnancy?

Overall, though, things are going well. Less than 10 weeks and then we meet our baby boy!

Our Anniversary Present

Our anniversary is May 25. We went away the weekend after our anniversary to our favorite place, the beach! It was a wonderful, relaxing, fun weekend and we really enjoyed it! A few weeks after we got back, on June 24, I found out I was pregnant! I was thrilled…and a little shocked. I have to say that I really did not expect to get pregnant that quickly! When I told Jason, he was so excited. I have never seen a daddy-to-be get so excited! It made me so happy to see him so excited!

On July 7, I went to the doctor for my first ultrasound. It was wonderful to see the baby’s heartbeat. Then we met with the doctor and got some not so great news. The doctor told us that there is a 2cm blood clot in my placenta. Knowing that the baby was only about 1 cm made me very scared. I’ve never heard of a blood clot in the placenta, but the fact that the clot was bigger than the baby terrified me. Dr. Simmons said that clot might resolve itself. He said about 50% of clots do. But there’s also the possibility that something bad might happen – I could start bleeding and lose the baby. I was pretty terrified. Jason looked up more information that night and his additional information scared me even more. Nothing was positive or good.

On August 4^th, I went back to the doctor. The doctor couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. Since I was only 11 weeks, I didn’t get too concerned. I knew it was early. He sent us for a sonar to check on the baby. I didn’t get scared until the sonar started and I couldn’t see the baby’s heartbeat…but it was there! Such a sweet sight…and so grateful to get to see the baby again! So tiny and such a sweet miracle! The blood clot was smaller but still there.

We found out that the baby is a boy on September 29^th. We had previously been told at a 13 week ultrasound that the baby was probably a girl. But since it was early, we knew that was not set in stone. You should have seen how excited and happy Jason was to hear “boy”…he jumped out of his chair when the sonar tech told us (and showed us!) that the baby is a boy! Jason had thought from the beginning that the baby would be a boy, so he kept saying "I knew it! I told you!"It was great!

The bad news we got that day is that the clot was still there. Smaller, but still present. But, everything else looked right: arms, legs, kidneys, heart, etc. The baby shows no signs of Down's or other abnormalities and this baby is a mover...he was squirming all over the place during the ultrasound! Can't wait to meet my sweet boy!

The Decision

The majority of people with Parkinson’s are over the age of 60. They obviously don’t deal with issues such as pregnancy. So there is not a lot of research out there that tells how Parkinson’s affects a pregnancy or how a pregnancy affects Parkinson’s. One small study that tracked 17 pregnant women with Parkinson’s showed that pregnancy was associated with a permanent worsening of symptoms in 10 of the women. All the babies were born healthy and there were no complications during the pregnancies themselves. So the risk to the baby was no greater than that of any normal pregnancy. That was good news.

The bad news: no medicine during pregnancy or breastfeeding or even while trying to conceive meant that I could be off my medicine for a couple of years. This was a pretty big deal since I was taking a medicine specifically to slow the progression of the disease. At the recommendation of my neurologist, I was also taking a couple of supplements that had been shown to slow the Parkinson’s progression. All of that would have to go. So I would be giving up my meds, and taking a risk that the pregnancy might permanently worsen my symptoms.

My husband was very scared about the worsening of my symptoms. Me? I wanted a baby bad enough that I was willing to risk a worsening of my symptoms. Of course, then that brought up a whole new round of questions I had to consider. Is it fair to have a baby and possibly not be able to give 100% physically to him? I struggled with this, and with whether I was being selfish or not. There were just so many unknowns and no way to know how my symptoms would progress or if they would progress at all. I always just kept coming back to the baby. I just wasn’t ready to give up that dream.

We knew that if we decided to try to have a baby that we didn’t want to take any drastic measures to get pregnant. With my first, getting pregnant took more than 2 years. I had my Fallopian tubes cleared twice and had surgery for Stage 4 endometriosis. I took Clomid for 7 months before conceiving. However, after she was born in November, I was pregnant again in February (even though I was exclusively breastfeeding). That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. By July of the same year, I was pregnant with my son, even though I was still breastfeeding. But it had been 6 years since he was born, and since endometriosis can grow back, it was really hard to guess at how easily I might conceive or if I would even be able to get pregnant at all.

After consulting with both my neurologist and my OB, we decided I would come off my meds 1 month before we started trying to get pregnant. That would give the Parkinson’s meds time to leave my system. My plan was to (hopefully) conceive within 6 -9 months, be pregnant for 9 months, and have some time to breastfeed the baby. That would limit my time off meds to a little over 2 years, which I considered a reasonable amount of time off. I didn’t really feel like I had 2 years, or even a whole year, to try and conceive. I needed to be back on my medicine within 2 years or so and if it took a long time to get pregnant that would not be possible. So I was praying that I would get pregnant very quickly!